Riding Through The Storm: Finding Strength In Chaos

What happens when a top-tier athlete, defined by discipline and control, is faced with a rare illness and the collapse of an 18-year marriage? Risa August got off her couch, named her tumor “Bubba,” grabbed her bike, and rode 1,845 miles down the Pacific Coast, battling pain, gale-force winds, and heartbreak.

In this gripping episode, Risa shares how she traded perfectionism for authenticity. From wearing Wonder Woman tutus during radiation treatments to trekking Machu Picchu, her story isn’t just about surviving—it’s about redefining what it truly means to live.

Tune in as Risa inspires us to let go of what holds us back, wear imperfection like a tiara, and live life fully unleashed. This conversation will leave you breathless, motivated, and ready to face whatever life throws your way.

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Chapters

• 0:06 Finding Strength in Chaos
• 6:02 Embracing Change and Finding Joy
• 25:11 Navigating Life With Acromegaly
• 36:37 Living Unleashed

Transcript

Pat:

Fill To Capacity where heart grit and irreverent humor collide. A podcast for people too stubborn to quit and too creative not to make a difference.

Pat:

Hi, I'm Pat Benincasa, and welcome to Fill To Capacity , Episode number 95, "Riding Through the Storm: Finding Strength In Chaos." Today, tagging along on an incredible journey with Risa August. In 2018, Risa a top tier athlete with many IRONMAN competitions and triathlons, got a life altering diagnosis, acromegaly, a rare, debilitating, pituitary disease that would shatter anyone's sense of well-being. If that wasn't enough, she was dealing with the end of her 18 year marriage. So what does she do? She names her brain tumor, Bubba, and goes on the Pacific Coast Bicycle Route, a 1,845 mile bike tour from the Canadian border through Washington, Oregon, California to the Mexican border. Oh, all of this while on medications handling racking pain, constant downpours and gale force wind. And then she wrote her memoir, "The Road Unpaved: Border to border with a brain tumor and a bike." And listeners, I gotta tell you, I read this book, I couldn't put it down. I really couldn't. Hers was a journey that tested her limits, gave her a purpose, and uncovered a deeper, truer version of herself.

Pat:

So fast forward, she works tirelessly to make the public aware of this little known disease acromegaly. She is a guest speaker, a certified gestalt practitioner and creative consultant who helps people to overcome life challenges and live authentically. So, Risa August, I am so delighted to have you here today.

Risa:

I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. Thank you so much.

Pat:

Oh, we've got so much to talk about! Okay. As an endurance athlete, you lived a life defined by rigorous training discipline, and a certainty in your abilities then came this diagnosis and the unraveling of your marriage, everything you knew was thrown into chaos. How did you navigate the shift from a life of control and somewhat predictability to one of profound uncertainty? How'd you do it?

Risa:

Oh my goodness. It was a process, absolutely. And I think I had to allow myself to feel all the feels, if you will. I, I had to grieve the loss of my old self and start embracing this new self. And, and it's still a process. I'm still in process. I, I think I'll forever be in process of that. But it offered me an opportunity to really reflect on that life of who I was. What did I like about myself? What didn't I like about myself? What was serving me? What was not serving me. And so I really had to start looking at it as an opportunity. And so that's where it started.

Pat:

I can only imagine that the idea of being able to step back, and I love how you say that. I had to look at what I liked about my life, what I didn't, what was working, what wasn't working. I mean, it takes a lot to do that, especially when you're trying to figure out, how do I get from day to day with this going on? That's really remarkable. And, you know, your Pacific Coast journey, when I was reading your book, I was telling you before we jumped on that when I was reading your book, I could feel the cold biting rain pelting my face, and I could feel myself pedaling uphill. I mean, you made it so graphic. What was the defining moment that made you realize it was time to change your life and mindset?

Risa:

Oh, I'm glad you asked this question, because I'll never forget it. I was sitting on the sofa in my living room. I have this large brown leather sofa, and I was sitting in these tattered gray sweatpants. I had been wearing them for months and months, and they were all worn out at the hem and just hanging off of me. And, and this faded purple hoodie. And I was sitting on the couch and I was binge watching another Netflix show. And I remember thinking, this is no way to live. I don't want this for me. So at that point, I decided, okay, well then I need something to live for. I need a goal, something to strive for. And, you know, I always had a passion for cycling, road cycling. And I remember thinking, well, if there wasn't a better time to pull out my bucket list, now's that time .

Risa:

And I started looking at all the things on the list that I've put off, things I always wanted to do, but never did. And one of those was riding my bike from Canada to Mexico, and I decided, okay, I'm gonna start looking at this. What does this look like? And I ended up finding the Pacific Coast Route, and it's an 1800 mile journey from Canada to Mexico. And I decided that was the day. That was like, I signed up that day to do this tour. I didn't know how I was gonna get off that couch, but hitting the button to register was really this turning point for me. And I had 14 months to change my circumstances. And again, I didn't know how, how it was gonna happen, but the first thing I did was I got out of those patterned gray sweatpants. Yeah.

Risa:

Yeah. That was the first step in that journey.

Pat:

You know what's interesting in your comment and in your book, and it really came through, is that you'd make your mind up about something, but you didn't have it worked out. All you knew was, Hey, I've gotta do this. And there's a, a profound leap of faith that you didn't have to have everything figured out. All you had to do was, I can't do it like this anymore. I mean, that really came through. So I was getting ready for this podcast. I learned that endurance athletes often view their bodies as finely tuned machines hone through discipline, training and perseverance, that they develop a deep connection with their physical limits, learning to push through pain and fatigue while maintaining a sense of control. Their body becomes a trusted ally, a vehicle for achieving goals and overcoming challenges. So, Risa, how has your diagnosis of acromegaly changed the way you view your body and live in your body?

Risa:

Well, I think the key word you said there, pat, was control. That wasn't just as far as my physical body, but I lived in this place of control, controlling my schedule each day and my calendar and controlling my emotions and my mental state. And I had to actually throw all that out the window. .I had no more control. I, I had to let go of the control. And so I, I still had that determination and grit in, in me, and perhaps I was being defiant. Perhaps it was me is like, well, I'll show you. I'm still gonna, I'm gonna still control the situation. But I stopped focusing on what I couldn't do. I stopped saying, well, I can't do this anymore, and I can't do that. And so what is that? Like, who am I now? And I started focusing on, well, wait a minute. What can I do? And who am I now? And so I turned it around, I turned the whole perspective around. And, and I remember taking the word "can," and I made a mantra out of it. I took the letter of each, each letter from that word can, and I made the mantra: Capable-Able-Now. What am I capable and able to do now in this moment? And well, that first step was getting out of those, uh, sweatpants. And eventually I made it 1800 miles down the coast.

Pat:

Yes, you did.

Risa:

Again, I stopped focusing on what I can't do, and started asking myself, what can I do?

Pat:

You know, what's amazing about that is being able to stop saying, this is what life has done to me. This has happened. And waking up each day and feeling the burden of that weight. This is what life has done to me. And boy that can smother the life outta anybody and just reduce us to feeling so helpless. And somewhere in that there was a spark in you that wanted something more. And that's what is really so touching that sometimes we have to talk to ourselves and say, you know, enough, enough, this can't be, we've gotta do something else. This isn't working. And, uh, throughout the whole book, you had those moments where you would just say, enough or I'm gonna do it this way. It's really amazing.

Risa:

Thank you. I, I contributed to lots of time on that brown leather sofa and having <laugh> the opportunity to really reflect on my life. And I realize, and I feel a little emotional around this is how much I was missing out on in my life. I was so rigid and had to plan everything out and had to perfect everything. And, you know, I could easily say that goes back to my childhood of, you know, having to be perfect. And so, yeah, again, looking at that bucket list, I'm like, oh my gosh, why haven't I tried half of these things on this list? That's when I started, started trying all those things and realizing, oh my gosh, life is big and amazing. And I was missing out on a lot of it.

Pat:

The word "resilience" is used so much. And the idea of resilience combines inner strength, flexibility, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty while moving forward. And what you've just described, perfection is brittle perfection allows us no ability to maneuver. And this diagnosis just shattered that it sounds like, where it forced you to be flexible, and it's your willingness to embrace the uncertainty. And I think for a lot of people, that's kind of scary to move forward and embrace uncertainty.

Risa:

Yes. And I'll add to that, embrace imperfection as well, because, well, looking back, I realize I was never gonna attain perfection because it was never enough for me. It didn't matter how much I accomplished or how far I came, like it was never gonna be enough. Enough. So that was a big lesson for me as well.

Pat:

But, you know, Risa, it also sounds like stopping this notion that I have to earn my way in this life, I have to earn approval or affection or friends, and it's not about earning. That's what is, I get the undercurrent of what you're saying.

Risa:

Oh, I love that, Pat. Yes, absolutely.

Pat:

You know, and it comes down to that way of thinking in it saying, you know what? I am enough. This is the package. I'm enough, and then moving on with your life. But I think a lot of folks struggle with that, that somehow they feel they have to earn affection, approval, care, love. And what you're talking about is freeing yourself from that notion of perfection.

Risa:

Absolutely. And freeing is a great word. Um, and that's where my handle came from, actually "Risa unleashed." I remember sitting in marriage counseling with my husband at the time, and he, he asked me a question, something along the lines of, you know, like, who, who are you or who do you wanna be? Or, or who are you afraid to be? Or something like that. And I remember grabbing my heart with both hands and grabbing my chest. And I, but it, but it was my heart. I was grabbing and I was like, I just wanna unleash. And I was like, extremely dramatic, but I was really, uh, feeling passionate and emotional in that moment. And I re remember saying like, how I was afraid to that, that the world and including my husband at the time, wouldn't accept me, wouldn't accept that. And let me tell you, once Risa unleashed, there's no turning back.

Pat:

It leads me to my next question. In your book, the "Road Unpaved" is about so much more than cycling, of course. It's about how you really figure out who you are at the heart of you. And I have to ask, how does Wonder Woman and tutu's fit into this?

Risa:

I love that question. So, Linda Carter, wonder Woman, when I was growing up, I mean, she was my idol, and she embodied just strong, powerful woman. And so fast forward to radiation treatment, I was bawling my eyes out. I didn't wanna do this. I didn't wanna go and get radiation treatment. I felt like it was my only option at that point. So

Pat:

May I jump in? And why did you have to have the radiation treatments? Would you tell listeners?

Risa:

Oh, thank you. Yes. So they couldn't get the entire tumor out. And so one of the treatments was radiation to attack the inoperable tumor that remained. So I'm facing radiation treatment, I make myself a Wonder Woman costume, and, this included a blue tutu with stars sewn on it. And I wore that every day for six weeks, 31 treatments. And that's what I wore into my treatment sessions. And I remember there were days where I was like, this is ridiculous. I don't wanna do this again. I don't wanna wear this dumb outfit again. But I did it anyways. And then I started riding my bike, wearing my Wonder Woman outfit until I built up my strength again. And, and it brought so much joy to other people seeing Wonder Woman in this b tutu riding around. And so all of a sudden I started acquiring a whole wardrobe of different tutu and different colors, and I would wear them riding and, and it just spread a lot of joy. And so I never travel without them.

Pat:

As you should not travel without them. I love, I don't know if I could borrow a term, your badassery is just breathtaking. That the idea of Wonder Woman and bringing Wonder Woman with you in into this radiation situation, you seem to have a knack of figuring out how to help yourself and what you need.

Risa:

Okay.

Pat:

I say that because in the book, you end up doing things like the idea of the Wonder Woman and the tutu. It's like somewhere inside you have a sense of what to do. And it makes me wonder that when we listen to ourselves, when we listen to ourselves, to me that inner guidance is really the inner divine or the universe. It's, it's, it's a way of knowing and being that if we listen to it, it takes care of us. And if it says wear a tutu when you get on the bike, I mean, you say, well, yeah, of course.

Risa:

Yeah. Well, I think it, is still a process that I'm working on because it really was about giving myself permission to live life on my terms. Yeah.

Risa:

And, you know, I was actually always a very colorful person. And I, I love the magical wonders of the world, and life is meant to be fun and playful and enjoyed. And I was really missing out on so much of that, uh, for various reasons. And I had to really turn off the noise of all the external things around me. And I, I really did it. I really had to, like, I even would ask myself out loud the question of, what does Risa want? Yeah. What does Risa need? Well, she wants to wear a tutu and a tiara, and ain't nobody gonna stop her.

Pat:

I love that. Okay, now I'm gonna shift gears here. What is a Gestalt practitioner? And as a Gestalt practitioner, how do you incorporate your life experiences into your work with clients? So what is Gestalt practitioner?

Risa:

Yeah. So, uh, gestalt is a term, a German word that loosely means wholeness. And it's a, it's a modality that I happened upon through the work I do in my day job. And I started seeing how it was changing people's lives. And so it's a very experiential, non-traditional approach to therapy. And I was actually quite skeptical for a long time before I started diving into it myself and started noticing the changes that were happening in, in me, but also what I believe about it. And what it's done for me is I always had this in me. It was just figuring out how to bring it out, you know, from years of, you know, suppression through trauma and interjects and all the things. And so what I love, love about it in my work is it's a very proactive approach to healing. And I also love the natural organic process of it. There's no rule book for it. We're all so different. And I find this in my medical treatments as well. I'm often treated as well. Everyone else with this condition does, does it. Well, I can't follow that person's rule book or your rule book for that. And, and so that's what I love about Gestalt. It really connects with the individual and what that individual needs in that moment.

Pat:

Yeah. And you kind of made your way to my next question. You experienced symptoms for over seven years going to your GP and then several specialists, only to be told there was nothing wrong with you, and you were finally diagnosed in 2018. And rare diseases like acromegaly often go un-diagnosed for years. How are you working to raise awareness and support for earlier diagnoses?

Risa:

Yes. Well, goodness, I imagine many people have experienced that feeling of being dismissed or feeling like they're being dismissed. And, and so in my own experience, when I finally had the validation of I knew something was wrong, I knew, like I knew how I'm guiding other people through that is to trust your, your instinct or your intuition, whatever your gut trust that. And even if you have uncertainty, like I had no idea I was walking around with a tumor in my head and most likely for decades, but there was something in me that said, you know what? For peace of mind, I might be wrong. I hope I'm wrong, but for peace of mind, order me the MRI order me this test. And so I, I do whatever it takes to encourage people to trust your gut. And even if you don't know for sure, and you're questioning, do it anyways and then speak up.

Risa:

Find your voice, use your voice. I went on to create workshops around, I call them voice and story, but it's around finding your voice and then being able to use it, Yeah. I also work with organizations and, and other people in this realm, not just for acromegaly, but um, pituitary tumors cause a variety of diseases. I can't even count on my hands how many diseases are associated with these tumors. So I speak with, uh, medical professionals and patients alike to just bring more awareness, take it seriously. Yeah. Spread the education.

Pat:

Yeah. Oh, good for you. My last podcast, we focused on healthcare for women, 65 and older. There's a healthcare here in, in Minnesota that is a specific practice for women 65 and older. And in that discussion, we talked about the one thing that they found, the, the healthcare people in that organization that so many women said, I have these symptoms and I was dismissed, or I talk about this. And they'd say, well, that doesn't present, like what we're used to seeing for, let's say heart attack. And even though most medical research was geared towards men, which is changing now, I think you are an example of what it means to advocate for yourself. I mean, there was a point you hit that said, wait, do an MRI do this, do that. And I think that's something women, young, old, doesn't matter. We really do need to advocate for ourselves in medical situations. And I think your story really, really brings that to light.

Risa:

And there's more than one part to this, this process and this journey. So you, you finally get diagnosed and you have all that healing and, you know, or treatment to work through, and not process, but then being essentially gaslit or, you know, called crazy for years. So then you have that emotional and internal healing to do as well. So there's many parts to it, and, and it can be very extremely layered for individuals.

Pat:

Yeah. I wanna ask you a tough question, and that is, how do people, friends and loved ones treat someone with acromegaly or any other disease without looking at them? Like, if they have cancer friends and loved ones, all of a sudden all they see is the cancer, all they see is the disease. How would you suggest people act towards their loved ones who have these diseases, these health problems? What would you say?

Risa:

That is a great question. It's been a, an interesting journey in that, because in the beginning, I really tried to portray myself as normal old Risa who can still do it all and is still perfect at everything. And I'll show everyone that this, this tumor and the dis disease isn't gonna take me down. You know, I present very, you know, healthy looking. And so that's how people started treating me. And then, you know, the impact of all my treatments and the disease itself started setting in. And, uh, I'm actually facing this reality. It, it, again, it, it's a process, but I'm facing this reality presently watching the decline of my body over time. And now I'm in this place of, well, wait, wait, wait, <laugh>, I'm still, I'm still great and all that, but, but now, you know, this is going on too. I don't know that I have any good advice or anything to say about it, except that I'm still finding my way. And instead of putting the responsibility on other people to experiencing me a certain way, it's important for me to focus on, oh, what is worse in need in this moment?

Risa:

And other people will take away from it what they will. And, you know, most people haven't been interested enough to educate themselves on, oh, well what is this that Risa has and what does it do? And, and once they heard, oh, well, is your tumor cancerous? Well, no, it's not cancerous. Oh, okay. Well then, you know, it, it's just such a complicated disease and extremely destructive and certainly not benign. So I, it's, I'm struggling to articulate my experience with this because people really lose interest. Yeah. And instead of putting the focus on, well, how, how is everyone else gonna experience me? I just have to be like, this is where I'm at right now.

Pat:

Well, I think you're answering it in that you are dealing with everyday new things, and that's where your focus is. It reminds me also what you were talking about, like if you've been married for a long time, you go through a divorce, all of a sudden you have some friends that kind of drift away. And then you have friends who, well, whose friends were they, your husbands are yours. And all of a sudden it's like, you'd look around and people are kind of gone. And I think there's a parallel there then what you're talking about, that when people say, oh, it's not cancer. Oh, you're fine. Okay. Whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. You know, people treat us the way we program them to treat us in one sense.

Risa:

Yes. Oh my god.

Pat:

Right? I mean, really. So the fact that they see you on your bike and you're doing things, but they also see you when you're in the middle of treatments and you have the stuffing knocked out of you. That's the whole package of Risa. So to take you day by day, Risa on the bike, Risa kicking it and taking names, and then Risa who just can't get out of bed. And maybe that's the complexity of what those of us are listening have to understand about something like this.

Risa:

Yes. And and it's a very, it's very different for each individual. I know for me, um, I like it's, it's healing for me to share my story. It's truly healing. And so I want people to ask me about it, but, uh, most people are afraid to ask about it. Yeah. And so I, you know, I never wanna bore anyone with my story unless they're interested and, you know, but I know there's other individuals out there who it's an internal process for them and, and they don't wanna talk about it so much. So yeah. I think it's really individual to the person.

Pat:

Yeah. And that's a terrific point. Now I gotta ask you now, that tumor was a brain tumor?

Risa:

Medically, not a brain tumor, but, um, snugged up at the base of my brain, encompassing a space just at the base of our brain called the sella turcica, which houses the pituitary gland and the tumor outgrew that space and grew into what's called the cavernous sinus, and has wrapped around my carotid artery. And so again, that's probably 'cause I've had the tumor for decades, and it was outgrowing the space. And these tumors grow back very easily as well. And so, and again, and then you have the diseases that are associated with them. And it's believed one in five people are walking around with these tumors and don't even know it. And so that's my urgency. It's like, Hey, even if seven years earlier my doctor listened, I might have had a different trajectory in life. So, uh prognosis should say. And, and so that's my urgency with, um, spreading the information.

Pat:

Oh, yeah. But I gotta ask you, how do you name a tumor? I mean, how do you wake up one day and say, you know, I've gotta name this tumor. Risa. What is that about? Tell us.

Risa:

Well, I happen to work for a woman who she actually pioneered Gestalt therapy partnering with horses. So equine therapy. And she is very, how do I say this? Like metaphysical and just, you know, believes in, you know, energies and angels and all those things. Which is new territory for me. 'cause I, I to live in my head a lot and things had to be make sense all around me. And, and she just heard me and my frustration in the beginning of like, I can't do this and I can't believe this is happening to me. And like, you know, who am I now? And, and she said, well, instead of talking so negatively to yourself and your body, why don't you talk more positively toward it? And why don't you name your tumor and start having conversations with your tumor and tell your tumor it's time to retire <laugh>. And I thought she was nuts. <laugh>. I thought she was nuts. But suddenly I'm driving in my car to run an errand and I'm like, okay, Bubba.

Risa:

And that's how the name stuck Bubba. And, and he really became this almost separate character or separate part of self in my life. And leading up to surgery, I was having conversations with him like, all right, time to get your speedo and your hammock and retire to a tropical island far, far away. Because I started seeing how much more he was symbolizing in my life. Especially the pituitaries, the control center of the body, and how much I had to control my life and how much I was being controlled in my life. And so he really became symbolic of that part of self Yeah. That I had to let go of.

Pat:

And the conversations between you and Bubba, I mean, Bubba had a very distinctive personality, snarky, smart-assy, but then truthful. I mean, Bubba was very, very interesting. It was almost like reading point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint in your journey.

Risa:

Yeah. Yeah. He's quite a character.

Pat:

Yeah. Now you've undertaken some incredible physical challenges from cycling border to border, and then trekking Machu Picchu. What keeps you motivated to go after these monumental goals? These are not little goals, Risa, these are big-ass goals. I mean, these are goals that I'm going to, you know, go to these places. I'm gonna travel, I'm gonna do these things. What is it that you gravitate towards when you do these things?

Risa:

I think it's more of a question of what does it get me? So one, you know, it's going back to that bucket list, going back to when I talked about those parts of self that were coming out as I was healing through my gestalt journey. I was always someone that, for example, loved culture and connection and experiencing other people and other humans. And so travel was very important to me. And so I had in my awareness, okay, my body could potentially decline over time. So let's start checking these things off. Now, time is of the essence. Why wait, why wait anyways, tumor or no tumor? And so it was really learning how to live more in the moment. Also, when I decided, you know, sitting in those gray sweatpants on that brown leather sofa, when I decided I wanted to live, that meant all of it as well.

Risa:

And so, for example, I just biked across Northern Spain last year, and it challenged me on every level. And when people started asking me, how was your trip? I honestly say, it was actually horrible. The hardest thing in every way, shape and form. It challenged me on every level. And they're like, oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that. And the first thing I say is, I'm not, because it was still something I got to experience in this life, and I would never trade it when I chose to live. I want to embrace all of it. And so again, sometimes that means dragging myself out of bed, getting out of my sweatpants and take, I don't know, taking myself to a movie Yeah. Or trying a new recipe. It's all the little things, the big things. And, and, and all right. Now I, again, I'm struggling to articulate it, but, but I think it's just living life now.

Pat:

Well, I, I don't think the struggle to articulate comes off as a struggle. It sounds like someone who has decided to live life at full throttle. That's what you're talking about. And in order to live full throttle, that means we allow ourselves to feel everything, the sorrow, the heartache, the joys, everything. And when you talk about removing limiting beliefs, you, you talk about that it was on your website. You, you talk about that a lot. And it made me wonder and think about, well, what are limiting beliefs? And to me, it's getting outta your comfort zone. Our comfort zone is like this big nice, wonderful coat that we can wrap ourselves in. It's snuggy it's comforting.

Pat:

But here you come along and you take that coat off and you decide, well, I'm gonna go do this. I'm gonna go do that. And a lot of people spend a lifetime parked in their comfort zone. They can't seem to get out. And I'm not making that as a judgment. It's just that they're being the way they're made. They don't want to challenge that comfort. They don't want it. But listening to you live life at the fullest, live life at full throttle. That's not about a comfort zone. I mean, that's what seems to be bubbling up when you speak.

Risa:

Oh gosh. Thank you. I sound fabulous.

Pat:

You do. You do.

Risa:

But, but hey, listen, thank you Pat

Pat:

Risa. I read your book, you put your money where your mouth is, so no, no, no. You, you've earned this. I mean, the way you approach everything.

Risa:

Well, I stopped looking at obstacles as blocks. They're just something to navigate around, over, through, below. For example, this bike ride I did in northern Spain. So the Camino de Santiago was always something I wanted to hike. And my physically, I cannot, I can barely walk around Costco for more than an hour without, uh, excruciating pain. And that's because my bones and joints have changed so much because of the disease. And so I started looking at this Camino trip, and I was like, how can I do this? How like I, it doesn't just 'cause I can't hike it anymore. Like, how can I still do this? And I was like, oh my gosh, I can still bike. And so that's what I did. I biked it and it still challenged me on every level. And it was incredible and an incredible experience. And so, so that's how I look at life and obstacles now. It's like, sometimes it's just a pivot. Sometimes actually those obstacles are put there because we're supposed to pivot. Yeah. Because we're supposed to go in a different direction. And so now when something's not working for me, I ask myself, okay, so what am I supposed to do now? And I just look in a different, a different direction.

Pat:

It really is about attitude. And I, there's that expression, if you dress for war, you're gonna find war.

Risa:

Mm-hmm.

Pat:

And what you're suggesting is that how you've changed your outlook, not as perfection being a goal to attain, but changing it to how do I get through minute through minute? How do I accept and acknowledge what's happening around and see what's presented and take it from there.

Risa:

Absolutely. I love that. Yeah. What's presented here, what's the opportunity?

Pat:

Yeah.

Risa:

All the opportunities to shift, to pivot.

Risa:

You might not know what's after that, but That's

Pat:

Right.

Risa:

And the next thing, yes. You may as well wear a tutu and eat a donut and enjoy.

Pat:

So Risa, would you describe yourself as someone who has a sense of peace or serenity about yourself?

Risa:

Oh, I, I've come a long way. Let's say that. And life is really a journey and a process that continues to unfold. And my favorite quote is from, uh, Louis Carroll from "Alice in Wonderland." And I think I'm gonna butcher this, but it's,"I can't go back to yesterday because I'm not the same person that I am today." And so, and that's how I view my life now. Like I'm continually evolving and just when I think I figured it out, I know nothing. Yeah. You know, absolutely nothing. And, and so I think what I've learned is to have more patience and compassion with myself and the world around me, and just really embracing where I'm at in the moment. Yeah. And, and doing what I can.

Pat:

So listeners, you know, people listening to this podcast, there might be folks out there thinking, oh God, I feel stuck in my life. I feel so stuck. Or I don't know if I can do this. What will people think? Or, you know, they have all these things that box them in. If you could say something to them and throw them a verbal lifeline, if you will, what would you say to them?

Risa:

Yes. I would say start by asking yourself, what can I do? What's possible in this moment? What am I capable and able to do now? And, and let me tell you, I started off getting out of a pair of tattered gray sweatpants, getting off the couch. I didn't know what was next. I actually started painting. I'm not an artist, but I started painting and then suddenly I was selling artwork around the world, my artwork. And then eventually I made it down my driveway to the mailbox, and I started walking my dogs was the next step. Eventually, I got on my bike for five minutes at a time, five minutes. And then it turned into 1800 miles down the coast. And I'm not telling you to go do an 1800 mile bike ride, but you know, if there's a cooking class you always wanted to take or painting, or I signed up for aerial silks. I <laugh>, I didn't know what to expect, but I had a blast trying it. I went indoor skydiving. So again, just ask yourself, what am I capable and able to do now in this moment? And again, it might just be a one small step, but then it'll get you to the next one and the next one,

Pat:

I thought it was really interesting. Your choice of words in your book, on your website is what it means to live unleashed, unleashed. You didn't say what it means to live free. You didn't say without limits unleashed. And the imagery of of a leash is having a dog on a leash, on a collar. And sometimes I think we hold that leash on the dog, and we're the dog, and we hang on tight to it. And so you come along and you talk about living unleashed. If you had to describe what does it mean to live unleashed, what would you say?

Risa:

Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna tell you a quick story here. And this is where I learn that often these constraints , the leash or these constraints are self-imposed. I was laying in my hospital bed. I was only supposed to be in the hospital for one night, two days. I was in ICU for 10 around day five in the ICU. I'm lying there. I have tubes coming out of each arm, wires coming outta my chest compression boots, catheter, oxygen mask. And I'm frustrated. The doctor comes in, makes his rounds, and I am just crabby as anything. And I'm like, doc, when do I get to go home? I was only supposed to be here for two days. And he rolls his little stool. I'll never forget, he rolls his little stool next to my bed. He's calm as anything very kind. He says, Risa, I'd like to think of it as a matter of perspective. And I said, oh, really? Tell me how. And he said, well, you're most likely the only patient on this floor who will be going home.

Risa:

And that sunk in. And later that day, the physical therapist came around and she's like, Marissa, how about we get you out of bed, get you for a, get you out for a walk? And I looked at her and I said, no, I can't. I mean, are you joking? I laughed. I thought she was making a joke. And that didn't stop her. And she helped me unhook the wires, gather my tubes. She slid a walker over to the side of my bed, and I made it around the entire ICU floor that day. I'm, I'm feeling tears well up. as I think of it, I had a really profound dose and view of all those people that might not be going home. And that was life changing for me. And I decided I'm not gonna let anything constrain me anymore. It was all in my mind.

Risa:

It was all, all these wires, I was attached to these tubes. It was all in my brain that, oh, I can't get out of this bed. I what? Are you kidding? I'm too weak to walk. Well, yeah, I just needed a little support, a little help. And I had a whole lot of it. And that forever changed me. And so now when I have these, oh, how am I gonna do that? How's it possible? I ask myself, wait a minute, who's stopping me? Is it me? Is it my mindset? Is it my perspective? Where can I just the lens a little bit?

Pat:

Uh, Risa, I think that says it all. How you experience life and how you go about it is so heartening to hear. It really is. And I wanna thank you for coming on Fill To Capacity today. This, this was just an incredible insight into the world of Risa and what makes her tick. Thank you so much for coming on today.

Risa:

I'm so grateful to be here, Pat. And again, just the opportunity to share my story is so healing for me and to have so many people holding witness to it, that's just so powerful. Thank you so much,

Pat:

Risa. It's also healing for us as well. You just have to know that. Okay, listeners, if you enjoy today's conversation, please tell a friend and hit subscribe. And thank you for joining us today. Bye.